Thinking of making your big day a child free wedding? You’re not alone. For better or worse, it’s becoming more and more common and accepted that the child free wedding is a thing, but that doesn’t mean that when it comes to implementing this rule it’s any easier on you or your parent friends.
There’s no denying that the ‘no kids allowed’ conversation is a tricky one, but if having your pals there without sprogs in tow is what would make your special day then it’s one you’re going to have to dive into head first.
Before you go ahead and make this rule official, it’s a good idea to get clued up on how to make this as easy as possible for everyone involved. You’re well within your right, as the bride and groom, to lay down the law in any way you like but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a sensitive issue.
Follow these smart pointers to throw a child free wedding without losing any friends!
If you know from the get go that you’re wanting your wedding day to be a kid free zone, don’t leave it until the last minute to break the news.
The sooner you tell your guests, the more time they’ll have to absorb the information and come up with child care solutions so that they are actually able to come. There’s a lot of logistics involved in parents attending a wedding without their babies, so be honest and upfront and tell them right away.
It’s a nice idea to take the time to tell your guests with children personally, rather than on an invite or through the grape vine, so if your wedding is going to be a small one, try to do this. If that’s not really possible, at least do it for your nearest and dearest – they’ll appreciate it much more and you’ll be less likely to cause offence.
Arrange Childcare (or Provide Information)
If you have the budget and you don’t mind your parent friends brinings the wee ones along to part of the day but perhaps not the evening reception or the ceremony, then it’s a really kind gesture to arrange childcare for them. This doesn’t mean that you have to splash out hiring every, single child a babysitter – you can hire nannies from childcare companies that offer a ‘kids tent’ to keep them contained and entertained or individuals who can take charge of multiple children at a time.
If this is a bit much for you, get together the info for some really great childcare options local to your venue to help your guests out – if your friends are travelling from further afield, they may have no choice but to bring the kids and leave them being looked after in their accommodation. Offering some babysitting options can make the difference between them coming and not.
When having a child free wedding, the sad fact is that some of your friends and family simply aren’t going to be able to come and that’s something you’re going to have to be prepared to take. Hopefully this will come down to the fact that it’s just too difficult or expensive for them to arrange, rather than because they’re upset about it, but unfortunately it could go either way, so brace yourself for that too.
If there are certain guests with children that you just couldn’t stand being without, you may have to end up making exceptions, but this, of course, is totally your call.
Know Your Terms
As above, there will be times when making an exception might be your only option other than missing out on having certain guests attend, so before you make it official, decide on your child free wedding terms. If you want to have absolutely no exceptions, you may lose some guests. If you want to allow some children but not others, it’s your call but you might be faced with some questioning!
When making terms for this sort of scenario, it would be very reasonable (and hard for other guests to begrudge) for you to allow nursing mothers or parents of babies to bring the bub along. Decide what you’ll do if your nearest and dearest say that they need to bring their child for them to be able to attend and decide how you’ll handle last minute childcare arrangements falling through.